Christmas in Northern Ireland

Christmas. Man! Has it really just come and gone? I literally feel like I was just FaceTimeing my sister, chatting about Thanksgiving and discussing Christmas being about more than just traditions. 

Soon after this conversation, I embarked on my first ever journey of making and sending Christmas cards. After making at least 60 cards, I've decided that in 2 years I might take up a side business of selling hand made cards on Esty. Between now and then though, I've already started planning how I'm going to do next years......

The first of many cards

Soon after this project was started, and long before it was finished I got to head South for a team Christmas party south of Dublin in Gory. Where I got to meet most of the rest of my Serge team. It was a bit odd showing up on someone's doorstep that I'd never met before. Had no idea what they looked like, and honestly could't remember their name. Thankfully I was able to go down with Courtney, a fellow apprentice who's a year ahead of me in the program. 

Courtney and I, on our bus journey to Gory

After a fun weekend in Dublin, it was full swing into Christmas here at Ballykeel for the rest of the month. Between extra visits to older people, school play practices, then the actual plays! December saw the break for the season of Good News Club and Bible study. 

The Ballykeel Primary 4 and 5 Christmas play, at Ballykeel Presbyterian Church (standing room only!)

The youth fellowship got the honors of decorating the church hall, followed by Christmas games and food.

 

The Youth Fellowship at Ballykeel Presbyterian Church

Like the over achiever I am, (or just the American I am), I decided to make Puppy Chow for the last YF of the year. You know, peanut butter and chocolate melted together, mixed with Chex cereal, topped with powered sugar. Super easy to make, amazing tasting!! Had not realized how American it was till it did not fly with the youth, due to a strong dislike to peanut butter. Which was unfortunate because it uses a whole box of the Chex  meaning.... what ever was I going to do with the leftovers?? 

Puppy Chow

Providentially, Marty (the minister) was wanting to go around to all the local shops in Ballykeel, (there's about 9 shops just within a quarter mile of the church) with a wee Christmas note and a box of sweets, just to say "thank you". Having too much Puppy Chow turned into a surprise blessing. I was able to just put a little of the chow in a bag and tie a bow around it and... to-dah! A little Christmas "thank-you". 

The McNeely's have a tradition of going to see the Ballymena Chamber Orchestra Christmas Concert, (it's the only Christmas tradition that's not connected to the church, so they can actually just go, enjoy and leave again). I got to be a part of this tradition this year!

At the Ballymena Chamber Orchestra with Joshua and Martha McNeely

There was also carol singing and then 2 carol services the Sunday before Christmas. The carol singing was probably my favorite! About 20 people from the church came together the week before Christmas, and we went to the shut-ins and the old people home, singing Christmas carols to them. After which we all came back to the church for a wee cup of tea and mince pies. 

Then there was Christmas in Belfast with the Somalians. Which included a traditional Somalian meal (chicken and rice) after the last English class for 2015. And then helping in the disruption of toys for the Somalian/refugee kids (a bit like Toys for Tots in the States). 

The back of my little car literally loaded and ready to bring the hope of Christmas to some refugee families.

As much as I was blessed through all this, it did make me wonder.... what does Christmas mean to a Muslim? Is it just a Western tradition? The tradition of presents, giving gifts is a beautiful picture (reminder) of what God did in giving us Jesus. But if you're not a Christian; then does the tradition of presents just become a worldly, materialistic tradition? As much as I loved being able to bless the Somalian families this Christmas, (forgive me if this sounds wrong)but if we're not actually telling them about Jesus, and the reason we were giving them gifts, then what was the point? 

That said though, at the end of one of the English classes, Luke, one of the teachers, gave a little lesson about Christmas, trying to explain the difference between secular and religious Christmas.... Just trying to explain for them Christmas. In the middle of Luke's story of the nativity, one of the lady's got up and did her prayers. I don't think she was following along with the story of Christmas enough to be offended, it was just time to do her prayers. 

After a crazy day with Somalians, there was the Christmas Market in Belfast that had to be "officially" experienced. (I'd gotten a wiz-through tour before Thanksgiving, so that totally didn't count!)If you're ever in Belfast during the Christmas season, the market is a must do! They totally played up the whole Germany thing, so it's a bit corny. But dude! It's a Christmas Market, it's supposed to be German! And the food... plan on eating while you're there. Or at least getting a coffee. 

The Christmas Market in Belfast, in front of the City Hall 

My friend Laura that made sure I had a proper experience of the market

A couple days before Christmas I got to escape Ballymena for 24 hours and go to Portrush with the McNeely's. Julie took me to see my first movie in Ireland while up there. (Which also happened to be a Christmas movie, win!) 

Martha taught me how to play Narnia while we had a tea party

On the way back to Ballymena the next day, I got distracted by this view,

Dunluce Castle 

so instead of driving distracted, I actually pulled over and had a rare tourist moment. Next stop, Giants Causeway! 

Christmas started Christmas eve. This was the first Christmas Eve in ages that didn't find me going to a Christmas eve service. (But it was the first Christmas that did find me in church on Christmas day!) About 4 o'clock the festivities began with the opening of one of the grandmothers Santa sacks, which in included new Christmas jammies. In honor of new jamies (I was included in this tradition!) showers were next in order. Once everyone was clean and now appropriately attired, we had a pizza dinner and watched a Christmas movie (Santa Clause).

New Christmas jammies and socks, cuddled up with Martha watching the Santa Clause movie

I had heard it rumored that Christmas festivities were starting at 7 Christmas morning, so I set my alarm accordingly. At 7, I didn't hear anything, (which is not normal on a normal day, never mention Christmas!) So I rolled over, and went back to sleep. 2 minutes later Martha comes bursting into my room, telling me it's Christmas, I have to get up! And so commences my first Christmas in Northern Ireland. Shortly before 10 Marty's family came and we went across to church. After which we had mulled wine (no alcohol) and biscuits, then did presents. At about 1 we had dinner, (absolutely beautiful!). This was naturally followed by clean up, after which we all gathered in the living room to watch the Queen's speech. This was followed by a walk (of which I opted out of due to heavy mizzling)and opted instead for a nap on the couch watching Brave. Eventually we all gathered together again for pudding and coffee/tea (again, beautiful!). To wrap up the evening Julie and I watched to Christmas special of Downton Abbey. 

I was really touched by how loving everyone from the church was, as well as the McNeely's extended family was (and the McNeely family themselves!). I received so many gifts and cards! I even received my first care package from a church back home. I've felt so touched and loved by the people here (and at home)!! Thank you everyone that made my first Christmas in Ballymena so wonderful!

Merry Christmas from my Northern Ireland family!
Marty, Joshua (12), Julie, (me) and Martha (8)

Friendship

Just a few thoughts I've had recently regarding friendship. 

Looking at the friendship of David and Jonathan, a friendship that shouldn't have even happened. Jonathan was in line to be the next king, yet David was already anointed king. And yet "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt." (1Samuel 18.1-5) What strikes me with these verses is that it is Jonathan reaching out to David. Jonathan, the next in ling to be king, is reaching out to David, his rival. Jonathan makes the covenant, because he loved David as his own soul, Later in chapter 20, Jonathan proves his friendship by protecting David from Saul and aides in getting him away safely. Verse 41 we see them as they good-bye to each other, "and they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, 'the Lord shall be between me and you and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.'"

Fast forward to 2 Samuel 9 when David asks in verse 1, "is there still anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan's sake?" Because of the convent that David made with Jonathan, David goes out of his way to Mephibsheth, the son of Jonathan. "Then the king called Ziba, Saul's servant, and said to him, 'All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master's grandson. And you and your sons and your servants shall till the land for him and shall bring in the produce, that your master's grandson may have bread to eat. But Mephibsheth you master's grandson shall always eat at my table." (2 Samuel 9.10)

To me this is such a beautiful picture of the gift of friendship. two people that by the worlds standard shouldn't have been friends. Surely there as a clause in the covenant. (It was made before they were at war with each other). There was non of that here! Because God was at the center of the their relationship, (was the foundation of the relationship), Jonathan had the freedom to love David and put his desire to be king aside to truly love the Lord's anointed, even to the point of death. "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends." (John 15.13-14)

I guess the question I want to ask after all this is; who can you befriend/pray for that by our social settings/cultures, we shouldn't befriend?

Strangely enough, I also have some personal experiences that go along with this a little. They really don't have anything to do with Jonathan and David, but rather the saying good-bye and moving country's and making new friends where you literally have no history together. You have to try harder. Fight for those friendships. If I had just moved states or city's, I'd just have had to start at ground zero with a friendship, but because I moved country's I'm actually stating at negative zero! So, I guess a little like Jonathan and David, I have to fight for friendships here. Fight the desire to just call it a day and go where I'm "known". Be intentional. And in the end (theoretically) my friendship's here will be deeper and stronger. (Not deeper than my friendships at home, I'm not saying that just deeper in a different way.) 

Praise God for His grace! Just like David and Jonathan, when God's at the the center of the relationship, anything is possible! 

So, hang on to your hat, and go be intentional!

Forgotten Love

For the Youth Fellowship girls night at the church, I volunteered to bake pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. Because it's fall, and they're my favorite, and... enough said, right? 

The hitch came in though with canned pumpkin puree not being a thing here. Like... how am I supposed to make pumpkin muffins without pumpkin?! 

Randomly enough though Julie had been given a massive pumpkin just a couple weeks earlier. She doesn't even like pumpkin, so... what do you do with a pumpkin? 

Why, you cut it in half, gut it, bake it, skin it and puree it of course! And presto! Pumpkin muffins! Like no biggy.

Gutting it 

Baking those bad boys

Skinning it!

Pumpkin Puree!

Ta-da!! Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins! 

The real finished product

 Conclusion, why have I never made my own puree before? Never again am I buying the canned stuff! 

Not only were the muffins a success, the girl's night was too! 

The Live Hamster Wheel

The first image that pops into mind when people want to know how I'm settling here in Ballymena is that of a globe or a log. With someone running on top of it, because of perpetual motion they're able to stay atop. I however I am somewhere on the side, unable to ever quite get on top, because once the log is rolling, physics denies me the chance to ever get atop. 

Or the idea of a hamster wheel comes to mind. And with that the image of the human size hamster wheel at the City Museum in St. Louis, MO. I had the privilege of experiencing this wheel just weeks before I came to Ireland. It's a wooden circular structure that you stand up in. You have to kind of jump start it (literally jump to getting it rolling, then you just walk in a forward motion (or backwards if you're talented like that), going as fast as you want. It's the most bizarre feeling! You feel as though you are climbing up and up, and must surely be upside down by now. But when you finally come to a stop, you discover that you haven't actually gone anywhere! 

Somedays that's what life here feels like. 

Walking into the middle of a ministry is much like walking into the middle of a deep conversation. No matter how much I feel like I'm understanding here, there's alway something new that I have no idea about...

The Belfast City Mission, that I'm involved with on Thursday's, is much like a hamster wheel. Just as soon as I think I'm "getting it", something new happens. I actually love this aspect of Thursdays! A typical day involves me teaching English for about an hour and a half. Who the student is and if it's just one or two changes week to week. After that from 4-6, I'm in a different part of Belfast helping babysit school age kids so their moms can learn English.

In between these 2 ministries I have about 3 hours. The people that run this ministry know that I'm up there for the day, so they'll ask if I have plans for the afternoon. Since I don't, they will take me along with them to just have tea with one of their Saudi friends or I'll go along with someone to pick up a converted/undercover Muslim from the grocery store and go back to her house to have tea. Or, as was the case this week, there wasn't even an English class! Just a party with about 60 Somalians and food! So much amazing food. (Felt a bit like Thanksgiving!) So basically this week was helping with food prep from 10 in the morning, serving the food, and then cleaning up. About three o'clock I finally was able to leave. But not without first being volunteered to take 3 Somalians home. Thankfully they spoke enough English that they were able to direct me where to go! 

After I got them all dropped off and was feeling pretty good about myself, I suddenly remembered that I'm driving on the other side of the road in a "big" city. A city where they drive really close together and park even closer together. I found myself on a two-way street, but due to the parking on both sides of the road, it's really a one-way street.  All of a sudden, there's a rather loud clatter from my left side. It took a moment for me to register that that clatter was me hitting something (confession time!). Looking out the left side of my car, I realized my left mirror was gone! (Dying of embarrassment right about now!) All I wanted to do was cry or laugh, or... hamster wheel moment. I realized how exhausted I am - not only have I spent the morning trying to learn and understand Somalian culture, but I'm learning it through the Irish's eyes as I'm still trying to learn the Irish culture. 

After this exciting moment, I continued my afternoon with babysitting. 

Babysitting entails usually 2 adults (once there was 3!) and about 8 children from about the age of 13 all the way down. 5 are siblings, 2 are cousins to the 5 and the 8th is probably somehow related as well. The last month with these kids has been crazy town! One week I get to play football for 2 hours with the boys or another week is spent just doing math homework with a 9-year-old for well over an hour. The next week was just playing/consoling a baby while 8 children ran around completely and totally out of control! And mean while, somewhere in the building there's an English class going on. After all this, you're left asking "what's the point of it?" The point of all this crazy town is teaching the mom English so that we can share the Gospel with them! And if that means we have 2 hours of.... But their moms learn about Jesus, then it's worth it! I've heard so many stories about the Muslims just asking why we (the Christians) are being so nice to them.... They're noticing, they're thinking about it. 

I had this story all written out yesterday, and had written some prayer requests, but like the classic blonde that I am, I didn't save my changes before closing, and it was gone. So before I could rewrite this, I actually had to go back to Belfast to do more of the same babysitting. Which was a first time for me to do it on a Friday. Honest moment. I was not excited about it. At all. Just tired from all of Thursday's happenings and not ready to face crazy Somalian children again. But the guy that teaches the English class, Luke, was't sure anyone was coming to babysit.... So, I told him I'd come, so he'd have a "for sure" sitter. 

My prayer requests that I had typed out before I left, that no one saw, that were never "officially" prayed, were that I would learn how to balance ministry in Belfast with my ministry in Ballymena and Ballykeel, and find time for myself, without feeling guilty. And also that I would learn the Somalian children's names, because only being able to retain 1 name out of 9 is just not a good thing. And that I would figure out how to bring some structure and control. 

Yesterday (Friday) felt like such a break through! Personally, just seeing God answer some un"prayed" prayers. I felt, for the first time ever, that I actually had the kids' respect! (I'd never realized how important that was until I had it!) So yesterday was controlled craziness. I had literally 5 girls hanging on me for almost 2 hours, there was so much love happening it was incredible! And I was remembering their names! I'm not really sure how to explain it, but the crazy town had turned a corner of crazy out of disrespect to crazy out of respect. Does any of that make sense? Or am I just rambling?


In conclusion, yesterday was golden and God does answer the desires of our hearts (in case you, like me, forget that)! 

Learning What it Means to Live the Gospel

So there Marty and I were yesterday, in Belfast, just drinking tea and talking with a lady from New England called Elizabeth. Waiting for Stanley to come. Stanley, along with a man called Willie, run a ministry for Somalian refugees, (teaching them English). Eventually Stanley turns up, with two Somalian women. We're still just chatting, drinking our tea, very laid back, comfortable. Conversation turns to me and Elizabeth (who is one of the English teachers) asks if I have any experience teaching English. Thinking of Japan, I say "yes". Elizabeth then asks if I'm certified to teach English. No! (But I do have experience, that counts for something, right?) Elizabeth then says - in true New England style - "Well you have to be certified to to teach English!". Well... this just got awkward! Stanley quickly jumped in with the plan that I can just "assist" - conversation. Brilliant! (Mind you, this ministry is running on a shoe string budget and very few volunteers). 

A few minutes later I hear Elizabeth holler from a back room, "Jes! Your first student is here!" Wait, what? I have a student? That means I'm teaching? 

Sure enough, my first day and I already have a student! One-on-one, beginner, ABC's and very basic conversation. 

Afterwards talking to Luke, a volunteer that teaches beginner classes, he found out I was going to be there every Thursday - he got excited. Apparently there's another guy that comes on Tuesday (the English classes are Tuesday and Thursday), but they were in need of someone for Thursday. So, I'll be doing basic English in a one-on-one setting, (sometimes there might be 2)! The girl I'm going to be teaching is very quiet, reserved-shy. She's 24, and has 4 children. Talking to Willie afterwards she had to flee the country, but her children are still there. When Marty and I asked how that worked/why that was - Willie went on to explain very probably what had happened. It's no wonder that girl is quiet and reserved! 

Willie then went on to talk about the Muslim refugee's. So many of them are from such rural areas that they have never had the chance to hear the gospel. There are people who have simply denied Christ and there are people who have never even heard of Him. Those are the people that it's still our responsibility to "go" as Jesus commanded  and take the Good News to. That can be done just through teaching an English class - being relational, talking about Jesus. Not through preaching, just comfortable conversation as your being a friend to someone in a foreign land. 

I keep thinking about what Willie said, he's so passionate about showing the love of Christ to Muslim refugees! The timing on this, well, really and truly, God's timing is just amazing! I've been doing a Bible study on Monday nights with the church. This week we studied the Prodigal Sons, in Luke 15. There were 2 different types of people Jesus told this parable to; the sinners & tax collectors and the Pharisee's - the younger brothers and the older brothers. Tim Keller, in his sermon "The Two Prodigal Sons" makes a rather brilliant observation "The way you know that you are communicating and living the same gospel message as Jesus is that 'younger brothers' are more attracted to you than 'elder brothers'". You see, Jesus was always surrounded by the "younger brothers". If the church is made up of mostly "older brothers" we need to be able to accept the embrace the Father gives us when He pleads for us to join Him in the feast. To be free to run in from the field and welcome the younger brother home! To love and welcome the hard-to-love's. To know the Fathers love for us is such a way that we are free to love the "younger brother's". I'll confess I don't have a natural heart to see Muslims reached. I am the older brother. Praise God though, I'm still a work in progress! 

All this to say, I am very excited about getting to be a part of this ministry in Belfast, about getting to be part of something bigger than myself, and seeing what God is going to do in this next year.

New Kid in Town

I can not believe that I've been in Ballymena, North Ireland now 2 weeks! Totally insane to me!

I'm living at the manse for the moment with the minister I'm working  for. Before I introduce the McNeely's, let me explain what the manse is. The manse is the house the minister and his family lives in. Normally it's literally right next to the church, sometimes it's actually a little way away. In the case of Ballykeel, it's right next to (as in slightly behind). Ok, so now that we have to first question taken care of, let me introduce the McNeely's. Marty, the minister that I'm working for, and his wife Julie, have 2 children, Joshua (12) and Martha (8). Fantastic family! So so gracious! They are not only housing me and feeding me and just taking care of me as I adjust to a new culture, etc. They have also taken in my Serge team leader, Bruce, for 6 months. So, family of 4, suddenly transformed to a family of 6! (2 of them American...). 

I feel like my thoughts and thus this post are going to be a bit all over the place, just because I feel like there is so much to tell! So I'm sorry for any of you English majors out there if the flow of this doesn't make any sense. 

The first couple days here were reversing everything I did my last couple days in the states. That was weird. For example, my visa. I went through this whole long process to get a UK visa, upon getting here, I got to actually go and get said visa. My phone too. Getting that all taken care of in the States, then going through that whole process again here. The last really crazy reversal was all the good-byes I said in the states... I'm now saying "hello"! 

Note on the visa thing. I am, officially, the first Serge missionary  in North Ireland, (with a North Ireland UK visa). Always wanted to make history... done! 

I'm also the only American apprentice with Serge in Ireland to be able to drive! Yep, I get to drive a little purple Nissan bubble car!! Marty keeps apologizing for how old it is, it's color... says it'll keep me humble. I however am excited about it! (Super easy to find on the car park!) I'm learning how to drive on the left side of the road, that's fun. But thankfully the car is automatic, so I only have one thing to learn, not 2! Also learning how to do round abouts. Which, naturally is loads of fun!

I guess the question you might be asking now is why on earth do I need a car? Ballymena (where I'm living) and it's surrounding towns, are a bit like Huntsville (where I'm from), yeah, sure there's public transportation... but it's just not very practical. People live too far away, or too close... a car just makes sense! So there you go. 

So, what is Ballymena like? Well... honestly, not my first choice, if I'd been given one. Thankfully, I was not given that choice. It's funny actually, people have such an idea of Ireland... must be nice to go there! Wouldn't we all like to go there? "Mission trip" Don't they have the religion thing down there? But when I first got here, I was a little taken aback by it. Ballykeel is a lower income estate  (neighborhood), working/middle class, government housing.... These people know life. If I did't know for a fact this was where God wanted me, I'd wonder if this was really where I was supposed to be, am I really the girl for this place? 

From the little I've gotten to experience of the church, I'm amazed by the healthy variety of people that walk through it's doors. It's crazy to me the number of generations in the church! You can have 3 generations, and with that siblings and cousins and in-laws... a bit confusing when you discover that half the church is actually related to itself (ok, exaggeration!)!

As they (Marty and Bruce) have been just letting me get my feet back under me and figure out life here in Ireland. I've gotten to do a lot of running. Through that God had shown me Himself in Ireland, by allowing me the chance to just, literally, get lost. Last week, I was supposed to just go for a 6 mile run.... Been doing 4 miles, time to spruce it up a bit... 15 miles later! It was such incredible! The rolling hills (let me remind you, I was running, meaning the "up" part of those "rolling" hills, not fun!), country roads, pastures, cows, sheep... Slemish off in the distance, clear skies.... When I was support raising, my spiritual mentor, Mama Murph, while spending a holiday in the UK, encouraged me with this verse: "For every beast of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills." PS 50.10, and here I was just a couple months later... seeing God's cattle upon a thousand hill!

There was my little Ah-ha moment, as Ken Leggett would say. 

Every other Wednesday is apprentice team day with my fellow Serge apprentices. This past Wednesday was just such Wednesday, which means I got to spend a couple days down south in the big city of Dublin. It was fun. I had this fear going into it of the trains and.... And like most things that get over thought out, it was grand! No hitches! I have to say though, for as much fun as I had, I was glad to be back in the North, back in Ballymena. (Just not meant to be a city girl). So, in conclusion of that thought I started ages ago, I am so thankful that God's ways are not my ways, nor His thoughts my thoughts. And that, as with Ruth, He can change my heart. Teach me to love a people I would not naturally love on my own. 

Every other Sunday evening is a thing call Youth Fellowship, YF. For youth 11 to 18. I will be participating in that, and hopefully during the week getting together with some of the girls, for one-on-one time. Monday evening's are Good News Club, for children 4 to 10. Which I will also be helping with. Tuesday's I'm hoping to be able to volunteer at a Salvation Army resell store, here in Ballymena. Thursday's are going to be find me in Belfast for a couple of days of big city ministry. Ministry Thursday will be ministering to Somalian refugees, teaching them English. Then on Friday nights I'm going to be part a ministry called Nightlight, basically ministering to drunks out on the streets of Belfast. Just offering them a cup of tea/coffee, being there for them as they wretch, witnessing to them just by loving them.

If you've stuck with me thus far in this post, thank you! I'm done now. 

Final Thoughts on Fundraising

I was going to be so good and write every month at least! Ha! Three months later….. Summer was crazy, as I’m sure is the case for most people. I just honestly couldn’t be bothered to slow down and write more than a very short update email maybe twice in those summer months. 

I was though going to write about the garage sale my parents did as a fundraiser for me, and how really amazing that was. Like for example these neighbors I met for the first time, that bought our canoe from us, and the total God moment that inspired when they found out all the money made from the garage sale was going to getting me to Ireland. 

Or I was going to write about….. I can't even remember, but I'm sure it was going to be profound! That's what I get for not blogging. 

I didn’t even bother to write about actually making 100% with both my one time and also with my monthly. (Kind of a big deal!) The really amazing part with that was my deadline for reaching 100% with my monthly was August 1st. I was like at 98%… not there, but close enough that I wasn’t worried about not being able to leave the 1st of September. I happened to be talking to my brother the evening of the 1st, and he asked where I was support wise, I told him I was about $40 a month from reaching my goal. He immediately responded that he could do that. 100% on the 1st!! Someone once encouraged me with “God loves a cliff hanger”. Seriously, it’s true. 

The past 3 months I think have been my favorite months of the support raising journey. The first month, June, was working through why God had not opened the door for me to go to Ireland by June 1. Then figuring out what I was supposed to be doing for the summer. And struggling with would I even make the new support deadline in 3 months! But the end of June, beginning of July I’d really gotten in the swing of support raising, close enough that it was easier to tell (/ask) people “Just 8 people at $100/month!” then “just 8 people at $50/month!” 

About the beginning of June, I started officially transitioning out of my church's youth group that I had been heavily involved in for the past 3 years. Strangely during those months of weaning off of youth ministry I got totally sucked into volunteering at Manna House (a soup kitchen/ clothing closet/ who knows what else) and into rowing! I also learned how to swing dance! 

Confession, by the middle of July when I started closing in on my deadline, I started freaking out a little about what if I didn’t want to actually go?! What was so wrong with staying in Huntsville? Living a normal life…. Then just as strangely as that was; by the middle of August, I was totally ready to go! Had checked out, mentally. Packing my room, I thought I’d get super emotional and sentimental. I was so excited!! I’ve seen all 4 of my siblings leave. Every fall, all these college freshman leave…. Finally it’s my turn to leave!! Through the whole crazy month of August of wrapping things up, talking to the bank, talking to the insurance, getting a will and a POA, going to the doctor’s, getting a new laptop and figuring out my phone situation, I was never once stressed! Someone explained to me that was called peace. As soon as she said that I realized that was exactly what it was! I can’t really explain it, this peace that surpasses all understanding just engulfing me! Knowing this was exactly where God wanted me, doing exactly what He wanted me to be doing. With that came such joy!! I was probably the most annoying person to be around that last month. Beaming like an idiot! Almost literally almost bouncing off the walls! 

Final reflection on support raising. Even though my goal was to reach 100% by the 1st of May, and I did all that I could, and still didn't  make it. With that came confusion. But then when I did make it, it was very obvious that it was God’s timing, and His timing is perfect! His plans are not mans plans, His ways, not mans ways…. 

Hidden Blessings

I think I've written about this before, hidden blessings. Sometimes I'm a slow learner, or sometimes I just need to learn something multiple times. What I'm learning (slowly apparently) is that the more desperate I am for God, the more I need Him, so the more I look for Him.... And the more I find Him. So... just maybe coming to that place where we "need" God, isn't a bad thing. I just make it out to be, because it hurts the pride a bit that I might have had to come to the end of myself.... "We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle." -Oswald Chambers

Rambling!!

When all I was going to do was share 2 experiences from today of hidden blessings.

I called a local non-denominational church this afternoon, to find out about their partnering with me as I go to Ireland. In about a 30 second conversation the receptionist was able to establish that I was not a member of their church and thus was able to tell me that they only supported members going to the mission field. Hanging up, the first thought was "Thank you for not wasting any more of my time or hope". (One more church to check of the list!) Second thought... "seriously though, I'd really like to get the field, how is that going to happen?!". There's another church that I've been trying to get a hold of for the past 3 weeks. To no avail. Almost scratched them off the list, (how many times do I have to call and leave a message before someone either answers or calls back??). But in a moment of desperation I totally pulled a Gideon's Fleece. Which I know you're really not supposed to do.... Almost in tears, I said a very off handed prayer "if You want me in Ireland this fall, they're actually going to answer the phone this time". Dialed. 3 rings and a "hello, this is Blank church." Speechless. It literately took me several seconds to collect my thoughts and say "hi! This is...".

Ok, God!! Ireland in the fall is it??

Naturally, I didn't pray in that off handed prayer that this church would not only answer their phone, but that they would partner with me... So as excited as I am that I actually talked to someone, they may never get in touch with me. The point for me is God's (re)confirmation that He wants me in Ireland. Regardless of how it happens, I just need to trust Him.

The second little thing that happened was getting a random call to babysit Friday night. Those of you that know me, probably wonder why this is a big deal, because I'm "always" babysitting. The big deal for me was the who it was and the timing. Just when I had again flippantly prayed that God would provide me with some form of work for this summer. The who was someone I'd babysat for once last summer. I see them every now and then, and just presumed that they didn't like me..... I'm just humbled by how the God that cares for even the sparrows, cares about me, and my petty problems of work.... (Matthew 10.29-31)

See? Hidden blessings. But I have to be at that point when I'm desperate, to be looking for them. Why is that?? 

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for it's leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. -Jeremiah 17.7-8

Contra Fundraiser

I have to say, I have never really been a fan of fundraisers. Do you actually make enough of a profit from them to justify the work gone into doing it?? (Me being cynical). So when Serge told not to do one till I was "desperate", I was relieved. Presuming I'd get all support raised really fast, and there'd be no reason to do a fundraiser. Right. That didn't happen and Serge told me it was time to do a fundraiser. Well.... I'm not really sure how the idea came about, (if it was my idea or someones else's), I just ran with it! I decided to do a Contra Dancing fundraiser. I've contra danced for almost 10 years and even organized a dance for my church youth group, (so I guess I felt like this was something I could do, that was actually within my comfort zone!) The youth group at my church had talked about doing another contra dance, since it'd been such a big hit. I decided to ask if we couldn't kill two birds with one stone, and asked the youth leaders if the youth group would host a "let's help Jes get to Ireland dance!", opened to the whole church, (child care provided), they surprisingly loved the idea!

As I stated so bluntly at the beginning of this, I wasn't a fan of fundraisers. I've been invited to swing dance fundraisers in the past. For people I don't know. And I'm always like... "I don't know you, I don't really like swing dancing (i.e. don't know how) and it's for some third world country...." and never gone. So I was very surprised and humbled by how many people came to this dance that I didn't know. It was such an encouraging time to see how many people came, excited about sending me to Ireland!!

Looking back over the past couple of months of support raising, there are some things I would have done differently. (Actually, I think I would have done just about everything differently). One of them being, I would have done a fundraiser back in January or March, just to let more people know sooner, and get them excited about what I'm doing. Serge, discouraged it because I really need monthly support, and fundraisers are really only good the one time support. Agreed. But, they let that many more people know. So like I said, I would have done one earlier in the support raising journey and then done another one closer to the deadline. All this to say, thank you to everyone that came, it seriously meant the world to me!! And if I ever get invited to another swing dance fundraiser, I'm most definitely going!

REJOICE!!

I started this train of thought back in March. I was at Barnes & Noble, enjoying some hot coffee and reading the "Peace Maker", by Ken Sande, and a commentary on 1 Samuel, by Dale Ralf Davis. I was having a hard time reading "Peace Maker", because it didn't seem applicable to me, and surprisingly compared to the commentary on 1 Sam., it was was dry. But it was required reading for Serge. One of those books that may not be applicable now, but would be good to have just in the back of the brain for a "some day". So there I was reading it when this train of thought it me... that had really nothing to do with "peace making".

REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS; AGAIN I WILL SAY, REJOICE. (Philippians 4.4-9) 

Why don't we rejoice? Why aren't we happy? Why do we have to "paint" a smile on it? If we're Christians; we have a future and a hope. And yet Paul has to tell us through all of the book of Philippians to rejoice.... In verse 4 Paul says rejoice. ALWAYS. Always. Even when I don't want to? Even when I'm hurting or confused? Even when I'm stressed? Or broke?

ABSOLUTELY!!

I can't help but wonder... if we're burying ourselves in the Word, maybe we will rejoice. Always. And maybe even somewhere in the middle we'll discover that the negative we thought was eating us up, is no more. Maybe.

Mind you I wrote this back in March. The big struggle for me in March was to rejoice through the process of raising support. Stressed with the unknowns of whether or not I was going to be leaving in June or in September (or NEXT summer)!! The unknowns with what doors I needed to be knocking on, to get to the field by June.....

Almost 2 months later.... Some of those unknowns are "known's". I am not leaving in June. I only reached 65% of my support by my beginning of May deadline. Sadly the excitement of reaching 65% was lost on not making the deadline. My departure date has been bumped to September, if I can get 100% of my support by the beginning of August.

I have to confess, I did not rejoice when all this came about a week ago. In fact, I felt God had done me wrong. Even though I know that's impossible. Wasn't He the one that called me to go to Ireland? Wasn't He the one that was making me walk this path?? Why in the world wouldn't He bring in the support?? Unless of course there's something here I still need to be here for... Like for example, learning His timing, not mine... Weird. A week or so later, I'm ok with the new deadline. Thinking big picture picture: there's a bigger picture happening right now. And it's not time for me to go over there yet... That peace of God that Paul talks about in Phil 4.7, (...and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.) I have some of that happening! I'm excited about having 3 more months to raise support! For the first time since December I feel like I can breath, (which I didn't even know I wasn't doing!). I have roughly 35% more monthly support to raise, so that's roughly about 10% a month more to raise. As I rejoice now, I pray that someday my first response to disappointment will be rejoicing, not hurt and anger.

Surprise Blessings

This past Sunday, I was blessed to share at a little Presbyterian church in Madison AL. Now, I've visited quite a few churches, many of them small. But this was the first one that I really felt the expression "welcomed me with open arms!" fits. I don't know, maybe it was because of the missionary thing and you're supposed to be nice to the missionary. Regardless, I left feeling like I was half a member already! Such a blessing to hear them tell me they'd be praying for me and to know that they would be.

Just a couple days after this beautiful experience, I was in need of a God moment again. (Because I have spiritual amnesia, and need God moments...)  I'd read in an email from my team leader, Tom, that his son was in Huntsville for spring break, and he wanted us to meet, (he's at school in Virginia, but his grandparents live here in Huntsville, random?). Seriously though, what college student would want to meet some random person that they have no connection too, on their break non-the-less?? Wednesday, (when I'd come to the end of myself again), I get a random text from this guy. So naturally I met up with him and his cousin (whom I had been told by several people I needed to meet, that also lives here in Huntsville). It's all so random... or is it?? It's in little moments like this I know that God does care and is a personal God. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." -Matt 10:29-31

"How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God." Psalm 84:1-2

Halfway out the Door

Halfway out the door!! Half way to Ireland!!! That's how I feel anyway. I'm not half way with my support, but if I just get 30 more people to pledge $100 monthly or 60 people to pledge $50 monthly I'll make it!!! As I only have 2 months left to have 100% pledged by, to make it to Ireland by June, I'm excited to see how God's going to work and bring the money in, or not.... Because the timing of my getting to Ireland is completely God's.

This past Sunday, I had to have a 15 year old remind me that money is no object to God. I knew that, but someone telling me that....(especially coming from one of the high school girls I mentor!) I needed that reminder. It was surprisingly very encouraging to hear. Something that we put such a high value on, has no effect on God. He knows that we "need" it... He also knows that we need Him more... so?? Which will it be? Trust Him and let Him do His thing in your life or let something else control your life?? Personally I'm all about tying the suspenders of my life to His car and letting Him take me where He will, whatever that may look like. Or taking the baton of this life that was handed me by the people that got me to this place and running the race set before me....

My thoughts are rambling because I have such a confidence in God!! I'm so excited. See? Halfway out the door. My thoughts and heart are big picture, let's go to Ireland!!! But wait... I'm still in Huntsville, AL. I'm still part of a church, part of a family.... How do I continue to be in community with people that I'm about to say good-bye to?? Is it really important that I be connected to them when I've been called to serve overseas and they've been called to serve their family's in Huntsville? YES!!! Especially for me, because this connected thing and being in community is new... so I'm not good at it. How in the world do I expect to be able to connect with people in Ireland, or just be in community anywhere else if I don't even know how, or what that looks like...?? If I'm not doing it right now.

The phrase "Already and not Yet" comes to mind. This is typically used in regards to Christ coming again, the age with which we live in. I so feel like that is where I am, just on a smaller scale. Knowing that God has redeemed me, called me by names, knows me.... and is calling me to serve Him in Ireland. But not yet. Still being here, and being here fully. So, putting myself aside, and listening with both ears as people talk about problems I can't relate to, (don't care about). I guess it's all part of loving The Church, the Bride of Christ, regardless of where it is.

Thanks for letting me ramble!! :)  

Why Ireland?

A country where 98% of the people in North Ireland are Protestant and 90% of the people in The Republic are 90% Catholic... It seems like they've got "religion" down! ....Yet less than 1% are evangelic Christians. Making Ireland the smallest percentage of evangelic Christians of any English speaking nation. Which actually means that they are an unreached people group.How can a country that has "religion" down so well have such a small percentage of Christians? The disconnect comes in with the difference between "religion" and "faith". Just going to church Sunday, checking the box, and actually having a personal relationship with Jesus.

For example, I live in the Bible Belt. I'm not sure of the percentage, but probably the vast majority of us are at church Sunday, but how many of us are just checking that box and how many of us actually know Jesus personally??

This is all just a product of years of religious and political wars. (And when I say "years", I mean centuries!) So, what does ministry look like in a country that already has all the answers? Relationships. Everything is relationship driven. Discipling and evangelism; all relational. This is a long and slow process of just living your life with them, meeting them where they are.

The Back Story

Hi! My name's Jes. I was born in 1990, into a Christian family number 4 of 5 children. In '97 my family moved from St. Louis MO  to Huntsville AL. I graduated high school in 2009. As I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and was feeling very burned from high school, I took a gap year. I knew I wanted to go into missions. But had no idea in what way, shape or form it would look like. So I didn't want to go to college just to go.... because there was no way to go without occurring a lot of debt, and I didn't want to hit the mission field with a lot of debt!!!  

My family (2010)

 In 2010 I discovered Mission to the World had an internship program for kids like me! I didn't have to have college, I could just go! For up to 11 months!! "Sign me up!!" So I did. I applied to go to Ireland, Scotland or Germany (in that order!). However, I was told I wasn't old enough for Ireland, but could go to Japan. I had NO desire to go to Japan. No. But I prayed about it and felt God's leading for me to go there. And it was beautiful, because it was where I was supposed to be! I was in Chiba, Japan (across the bay from Tokyo) for 6 months serving at a missionary school where I taught 7th grade, one high school class and one elementary class.

3 of my students... ice cream run!!

I came home in July of 2011. With the intent on going to college. About a month before I was supposed to leave though realized that financially it was not a good idea for me to go. So, suddenly my life had no direction! I was still adjusting to being back in America and to top things off my home church was going through a split and didn't want to hear about what God was doing in Japan. Long story short, I avoided the whole situation by going to Germany in October (2011) as an Au Pair (an overseas nanny).

Crazy huh?? No, dumb. God protected me so much and grew me through that whole mess!! I would never have admitted it then, but I was definitely running away from the church. So I ended up in a country that has a lot of churches, but isn't Christian, any more. Or if they are, they're very confused. While there, I saw first hand the spiritual darkness of Europe. (I also discovered a calling to working with youth.) Over all, I loved Germany!! Loved the family I'd come to work for... But after 7 months, it just wasn't working! Nothing was right. Through that I felt God tell me it was time to go back home, it was time to stop running from the church. So I went home.

Felicia (3), Viktoria (5)

This time when I came home, I was actually excited about being home! My church took me in and took care of me. Mind you though, this was a different church than the one that had sent me to Japan. So they didn't didn't even know me! They (the church) painted a beautiful picture for me of Christ. I became an active member, serving the high school and middle school girls.

RYM Florida (2014)

In October of 2012 I started working for a Chiropractor in Huntsville, as a therapist tech. I do not have any desire to be a chiropractor!! But I did seriously consider going into physical/ occupational therapy, or  to go into counseling; because I discovered I loved helping people feel better and hearing their stories.

 2 of my coworkers, Crystal and Kelsey (2013)

In 2013 I went on a 5 week summer mission trip to Scotland with Mission to the World. I went to the High Lands of Aultbea, with a team of 3 other people. While there I rediscovered how spiritually dark Europe is (Great Britain). I fell totally in love with the high lands!! If you ever get a chance to go, do it! But more than just the rugged beauty of it, I felt a calling to come back to work with the young people there. There's nothing to keep/ bring university students to the high lands, so after they finish high school, they go south to Glasgow or Edinburgh, and don't come back. So there isn't any one slightly older than the youth to mentor them.... Thus I felt called to come back and be that person. So I pursued going back.... but it didn't feel right. Which was strange because I thought that's where God was calling me to go..... Yet He seemed to be saying no. 

Ullapool, Scotland

He closed the door to that and I continued to work for the chiropractor. Then in spring of 2014, it hit me. Jes! you are going to be 24!! What are you doing with your life?! I realized I'd just been "floating" through, waiting for God to just reveal Himself to me, and give me some direction. That's not a bad thing, except that I hadn't even set roots in Huntsville. I didn't make commitments... not long terms one's, "just in case". I discovered that Huntsville has a rowing club, I nearly died with excitement! (I'd seen it Germany and thought it looked beautiful and wanted to do it!!) So, I signed up for a Learn to Row class. I also discovered that I could run 6.3 miles... I'd been running for a long time, but finally checked the millage. I was so impressed with myself!! I signed up to run a 10K. Made commitments! In March of 2014 during my church's mission conference someone introduced to a missionary called Denise.


Denise was going to serve in England with Serge (formally World Harvest Missions). After hearing a bit of my story, she told me to check out Serge's Apprenticeship program, (http://www.serge.org/apprenticeships/). I was like... sure, yeah, of course... I've done internships before... if I have time.... Then I heard her (Denise) share about England and her calling there. I was in tears. She was talking about the Spiritual darkness of Europe (Great Britain) that I had experienced in Germany and Scotland. As my heart broke, I realized I needed to check out the apprenticeship program with Serge. As I read about it I knew this was the what next that God wanted me to pursue. That He had not in fact closed the door for me to go into missions, as I'd thought He had, it just had to be His time.

What is the apprenticeship program? "...a 2 year program geared to equip, train, empower, and mobilize missionary apprentices; developing a love for the gospel, the kingdom, and other cultures. With the goal being faith based reliance on the gospel more than one's own gifts and abilities for the purpose of fulfilling the Great Commission..."

As I pursed this opportunity, I kept expecting God to close the door and to get a "no". But it kept never happening!! Till eventually in October of 2014 I went to Ireland on a "sight trip" to meet the team there and see if that was in fact where God was leading me. Let me just say, I do have a weakness for Europe and traveling in general. But when I landed in Dublin, jet-lagged, I was ridiculously skeptical toward God. I mean, what I was seeing was beautiful, but if this wasn't where God wanted me, why was I here??!!

I spent a week there, by the end of that week God had confirmed His calling for me to serve Him in Ireland. I discovered that the desire I had 5 years ago to go to Ireland, what I'd come to think of as a self-centered desire, (romantic idea of Ireland, English speaking...) was actually a God given desire to go there. It was crazy to see that when I thought I'd just been floating aimlessly through life, God was actually just preparing me for ministry in Ireland!!

In December I was officially invited to join Serge as an apprentice and serve in Ireland!