Hidden Blessings

I think I've written about this before, hidden blessings. Sometimes I'm a slow learner, or sometimes I just need to learn something multiple times. What I'm learning (slowly apparently) is that the more desperate I am for God, the more I need Him, so the more I look for Him.... And the more I find Him. So... just maybe coming to that place where we "need" God, isn't a bad thing. I just make it out to be, because it hurts the pride a bit that I might have had to come to the end of myself.... "We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle." -Oswald Chambers

Rambling!!

When all I was going to do was share 2 experiences from today of hidden blessings.

I called a local non-denominational church this afternoon, to find out about their partnering with me as I go to Ireland. In about a 30 second conversation the receptionist was able to establish that I was not a member of their church and thus was able to tell me that they only supported members going to the mission field. Hanging up, the first thought was "Thank you for not wasting any more of my time or hope". (One more church to check of the list!) Second thought... "seriously though, I'd really like to get the field, how is that going to happen?!". There's another church that I've been trying to get a hold of for the past 3 weeks. To no avail. Almost scratched them off the list, (how many times do I have to call and leave a message before someone either answers or calls back??). But in a moment of desperation I totally pulled a Gideon's Fleece. Which I know you're really not supposed to do.... Almost in tears, I said a very off handed prayer "if You want me in Ireland this fall, they're actually going to answer the phone this time". Dialed. 3 rings and a "hello, this is Blank church." Speechless. It literately took me several seconds to collect my thoughts and say "hi! This is...".

Ok, God!! Ireland in the fall is it??

Naturally, I didn't pray in that off handed prayer that this church would not only answer their phone, but that they would partner with me... So as excited as I am that I actually talked to someone, they may never get in touch with me. The point for me is God's (re)confirmation that He wants me in Ireland. Regardless of how it happens, I just need to trust Him.

The second little thing that happened was getting a random call to babysit Friday night. Those of you that know me, probably wonder why this is a big deal, because I'm "always" babysitting. The big deal for me was the who it was and the timing. Just when I had again flippantly prayed that God would provide me with some form of work for this summer. The who was someone I'd babysat for once last summer. I see them every now and then, and just presumed that they didn't like me..... I'm just humbled by how the God that cares for even the sparrows, cares about me, and my petty problems of work.... (Matthew 10.29-31)

See? Hidden blessings. But I have to be at that point when I'm desperate, to be looking for them. Why is that?? 

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for it's leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. -Jeremiah 17.7-8

Contra Fundraiser

I have to say, I have never really been a fan of fundraisers. Do you actually make enough of a profit from them to justify the work gone into doing it?? (Me being cynical). So when Serge told not to do one till I was "desperate", I was relieved. Presuming I'd get all support raised really fast, and there'd be no reason to do a fundraiser. Right. That didn't happen and Serge told me it was time to do a fundraiser. Well.... I'm not really sure how the idea came about, (if it was my idea or someones else's), I just ran with it! I decided to do a Contra Dancing fundraiser. I've contra danced for almost 10 years and even organized a dance for my church youth group, (so I guess I felt like this was something I could do, that was actually within my comfort zone!) The youth group at my church had talked about doing another contra dance, since it'd been such a big hit. I decided to ask if we couldn't kill two birds with one stone, and asked the youth leaders if the youth group would host a "let's help Jes get to Ireland dance!", opened to the whole church, (child care provided), they surprisingly loved the idea!

As I stated so bluntly at the beginning of this, I wasn't a fan of fundraisers. I've been invited to swing dance fundraisers in the past. For people I don't know. And I'm always like... "I don't know you, I don't really like swing dancing (i.e. don't know how) and it's for some third world country...." and never gone. So I was very surprised and humbled by how many people came to this dance that I didn't know. It was such an encouraging time to see how many people came, excited about sending me to Ireland!!

Looking back over the past couple of months of support raising, there are some things I would have done differently. (Actually, I think I would have done just about everything differently). One of them being, I would have done a fundraiser back in January or March, just to let more people know sooner, and get them excited about what I'm doing. Serge, discouraged it because I really need monthly support, and fundraisers are really only good the one time support. Agreed. But, they let that many more people know. So like I said, I would have done one earlier in the support raising journey and then done another one closer to the deadline. All this to say, thank you to everyone that came, it seriously meant the world to me!! And if I ever get invited to another swing dance fundraiser, I'm most definitely going!

REJOICE!!

I started this train of thought back in March. I was at Barnes & Noble, enjoying some hot coffee and reading the "Peace Maker", by Ken Sande, and a commentary on 1 Samuel, by Dale Ralf Davis. I was having a hard time reading "Peace Maker", because it didn't seem applicable to me, and surprisingly compared to the commentary on 1 Sam., it was was dry. But it was required reading for Serge. One of those books that may not be applicable now, but would be good to have just in the back of the brain for a "some day". So there I was reading it when this train of thought it me... that had really nothing to do with "peace making".

REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS; AGAIN I WILL SAY, REJOICE. (Philippians 4.4-9) 

Why don't we rejoice? Why aren't we happy? Why do we have to "paint" a smile on it? If we're Christians; we have a future and a hope. And yet Paul has to tell us through all of the book of Philippians to rejoice.... In verse 4 Paul says rejoice. ALWAYS. Always. Even when I don't want to? Even when I'm hurting or confused? Even when I'm stressed? Or broke?

ABSOLUTELY!!

I can't help but wonder... if we're burying ourselves in the Word, maybe we will rejoice. Always. And maybe even somewhere in the middle we'll discover that the negative we thought was eating us up, is no more. Maybe.

Mind you I wrote this back in March. The big struggle for me in March was to rejoice through the process of raising support. Stressed with the unknowns of whether or not I was going to be leaving in June or in September (or NEXT summer)!! The unknowns with what doors I needed to be knocking on, to get to the field by June.....

Almost 2 months later.... Some of those unknowns are "known's". I am not leaving in June. I only reached 65% of my support by my beginning of May deadline. Sadly the excitement of reaching 65% was lost on not making the deadline. My departure date has been bumped to September, if I can get 100% of my support by the beginning of August.

I have to confess, I did not rejoice when all this came about a week ago. In fact, I felt God had done me wrong. Even though I know that's impossible. Wasn't He the one that called me to go to Ireland? Wasn't He the one that was making me walk this path?? Why in the world wouldn't He bring in the support?? Unless of course there's something here I still need to be here for... Like for example, learning His timing, not mine... Weird. A week or so later, I'm ok with the new deadline. Thinking big picture picture: there's a bigger picture happening right now. And it's not time for me to go over there yet... That peace of God that Paul talks about in Phil 4.7, (...and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.) I have some of that happening! I'm excited about having 3 more months to raise support! For the first time since December I feel like I can breath, (which I didn't even know I wasn't doing!). I have roughly 35% more monthly support to raise, so that's roughly about 10% a month more to raise. As I rejoice now, I pray that someday my first response to disappointment will be rejoicing, not hurt and anger.