The Light House

At the end of an intense and emotional 2 week discipleship training in Greystones, in Co Wicklow as a group of about 30 (Irish/Northern Irish/American interns and staff ), we were divided into groups of 4 or 5 and sent on outreach teams across the island. My team was made up of 2 American girls and 1 Northern Irish girl. Our assignment was to go help with Liberty Church in Dublin 8, for the next 2 weeks. As part of that, we're sent to the Light House, a Christian soup kitchen in Dublin City Centre. 

We arrive at the Light House Saturday afternoon, tired, but ready to help in whatever way they need us to. We arrive as a group of 4 girls, saying we're here from Liberty church. The staff there say they were excepting us, but the man who was our contact person between Liberty Church and the Light House is at a conference in Cork, and will be there all week. Basically the staff there at the Light House weren't sure what to do with us. But, they told us to "wash up" and help with the food prep for dinner. After we're done with all the food prep and we're waiting to open, a couple of the interns (college age) invite us to join them in playing cards. Before we can join them however, the man that seems to be the man in charge, Joe, asks us if we can go downstairs to talk. 

Joe takes us downstairs, to the prayer room. As we sit down, he starts asking us what we're doing here, why we're there, where we're from.... think, third degree integration. He then goes on to mention that if you have too many Americans in one ministry, you loose the Irish authenticity, and the homeless that are Irish, feel like projects. It should probably be noted that Joe is American and there were at least 4 interns there that were also American. So, I understood what Joe was getting at. But I didn't know what he was wanting me to do about it. We'd been told to be there that week. But if it was really too many Americans there that day, we were more than happy to leave. (In all our minds, - my team that is- we were all hoping that they didn't need us and we could just go home). Joe kept going on about how you have to be intentional with people, and have conversations with them, treat them like people. That's what makes the Light House different from any other homeless ministry in Dublin, they were intentional there and got to know people, asked their names.... I honestly don't remember what else he said, he just seemed to keep going on and on.I was just thankful I was too tired to argue with him or get defensive (who knew God could fatigue for His glory?!) Eventually, Nesta (my Northern Irish girl), spoke up and asked if they knew so-and-so, literally as soon as she started talking it was like seeing a miracle unfold before my eyes. Joe suddenly connected with her, wait, she's not American?! And he did know the girl she'd asked about! (Only in Ireland). From then on all conversation went through Nesta, and suddenly is was ok that we were going to be there that next week. 

Normally right before they open they have quite a few volunteers that will come in to help on a Saturday. So the plan was that we'd stay only if they didn't have enough volunteers. As it turned out, non of their regular volunteers came, so we got to stay that afternoon!

Gabby and Nesta got kitchen duty and Caitlin and I got "floor duty",  (talking to the homeless people as they came in, ate their meals, if they needed anything, we'd get it for them...). 

Initially, it was awkward to try and make small talk conversation with a homeless person. What do you talk about? How do you get beyond the initial "how are you? How's it going?" 

One gentleman that I sat down with to try and engage him with conversation, I ended up talking with for 2 hours! Turns out it was his first time to come in. He'd never been married. Didn't have any family left..... Sweet older man, that claimed he never did much talking, but apparently today just needed to talk. As he told me he was hoping to buy a house in Lucan (Co Dublin), I felt the urge to pray with him. So I asked him if we could pray. He obliged me. By that point, the Light House was trying to close, so we had to split ways. 

Team Chicken Soup!
Our first day at the Light House done!
Nesta in front, Caitlin (aka Coats) left and centre, Gabby in the hairnet and yours truly in the back.

The rest of our week at the Light House was less exciting. But it was still beautiful and challenging. Learning how important it is to be part of a community, and what it looks to like to draw out our God given gifts from each other, and to actually celebrate those gifts, and our difference, just as team of 4, but also with the other Light House staff/ interns and volunteers. 

Oh Jes

When your boss tells you to just get the train that arrives at 10:26, instead of the normal 9:30 train you get excited and think that means you have loads of time to procrastinate. 

Then you discover too late that your app for the trains isn't working and that means you actually have no idea when you need to be departing (if the train is arriving at 10:26). 

So you get yourself out the door and to the nearest train station. But only just as the connecting train to your destination is leaving the platform. The next one not being for another 38 minutes! Thinking fast. You run out of that station and to the next station. Hoping against hope you can catch the train departing there to your destination. 

Running the normally 20 minute walk there, you arrive just as again the train is departing the platform. Kicking a step in frustration, trying not to cry from the sudden adrenaline rush that's hit your body, you think of what next to do, (because the next train isn't for another hour!).

Finally your phone app is working. This just adds to the frustration. 

But you check all your options now. Google Maps tells you the bus is your best bet, if you first take the tram. 

Cool. That's right outside the station. You've got some time. Since by this time you're officially late for the meeting. 

The tram takes what feels like forever. But you make it to the bus stop with 3 minutes to spare. 

As soon as the computer screen saying the bus is due, the bus disappears off the screen. A couple of minutes later it reappears, but not for another 30 minutes. 

WHAT?! 

Now, the question has to be asked, is it actually 30 minutes? Or will the original bus reappear? At this point there's no way of knowing. It's just waiting in agitated silence. With the ever growing need to use a toilet. The next question that must be asked at this point is how important is it that I'm at this meeting? 

5 minutes later the bus reappears on the screen saying it's due in 5 minutes. A ripple of relief is felt among the people waiting at the bus stop. It's not just you. 

The bus finally does come. And you finally do make it to that meeting. Only 45 minutes late. Absolutely bursting for the loo. 

This was me Friday. Moral of the story: don't procrastinate when checking train times. Maybe get there early, so you're not freaking out that you're going to be late? Just a thought for the A-Type personality. (Or learn to not be so A-Type?)

Thankfully getting back from this meeting was a less dramatic. 

Later that same day though I had to get back into town for youth group. Normally we just meet at church, which is just a 20 minute walk from where I live. But with it being May now, and the weather being warmer and the daylight hours being longer, the plan was to meet in Phoenix Park for field games and a BBQ. 

Whenever I hear the word "Phoenix Park" I tend to freak. Phoenix Park is a HUGE park in Dublin. It's beautiful. But super easy to get lost in!! So there was definitely fear involved when I heard that that's where we were going to meet. But good old pride stepped in, and I decided I'd figure it out myself and not ask for help, or admit that I had no idea where in the park they were talking about. 

According to Google Maps, it was right off one of the bus routes I actually use all the times, so I figured "this will be a breeze! Good thing I didn't ask for help!" 

I got off the bus right at the main entrance to the park. Actually checked maps again. Realized where I actually wanted to be was further down the bus route. Cool. I have time. It's nice weather. I'll walk, no bother. 

Finally what would have been 4 bus stops late if I'd stayed on the bus, I'm almost there. Pat (the pastor) calls me at this point, asking if I'm lost. Apparently people have seen me walking and there's some concern that I'm lost. (How embarrassing!) He's coming back out to look for me. I assure him I'm fine, I'm almost there. We hang up. I get to the entrance of the park. I can sense that I'm close now! But where am I actually supposed to be? There's a fork in the road. I'm close enough now that if I make the wrong choice, I'll be going in the opposite direction. 

I decide to go left at the fork. I must have only taken 20 steps that way and I hear a car horn behind me. I turn to see that Pat's found me, and I am indeed going the wrong way. 

Typical Jes. 

Pat gives me a lift for the last 2 minutes it takes to meet up with the rest of the youth group. 

Literally everyone is there. After much shaking of heads and confessions that they'd all seen me walking, and "oh Jes..." I try to not sound defensive when I ask why they didn't offer me a lift?! 

After youth group is over, no one trusts me to be able to get the bus back into town (I don't understand why not!!). But after the day this has turned into, I find myself unable to object to being offered a lift home. 

Youth Alpha

It's a long gravel drive, past the rugby pitches to the back of the secondary school, Mount Temple. (Secondary school is essentially 7th -12 grade, schools in Ireland take out the "middle school" part of education). 

It must be lunch break, because there are kids everywhere! My heart's racing as I get closer to the school. I see lots of possible entrances, but I want to go to the office. Thankfully the entrance for the office is well labeled. As I enter and try to squeeze past a group of students just loitering around the door, I have to tell myself to breath. Play cool. Don't shake. Most importantly don't let on that you've never stepped inside a school before! 

I sign my name in the visiter book. I'm early, so I find a seat waiting for Andy to come. 

When Andy gets there, he leads me down the school halls lined with students waiting for the bell to ring, toward the staff room. We walk into a room filled with frenzied teachers trying to enjoy a couple of minutes of adult time, or trying to get papers graded, or working on projects for the next class. Andy finds the teacher he's looking for, introducing her as Ms. Burkes telling her we're there to do the Youth Alpha for her class, during the religious class period. 

Ms. Burkes checks her watch, and quickly finishes her lunch, frenzied now that she's lost track of time. She then takes us back into the halls and into a class room. Shortly after we get there, and Andy starts setting up his computer the students start pilling through the door. Tables are picked up and pushed to the sides and the chairs are assembled into a circle. 

Once the computer is set up adequately Andy gets some volunteers to come to the center for a food eating competition. Supposedly it's been scientifically proven that it's impossible to eat 3 digestive biscuits in 1 minutes. (Digestives are like graham crackers). Naturally the kids are game for proving this theory wrong! The first 3 kids though are unable to. The next 3 however, having watched and learned from the first 3 are able to eat 3 digestives in under a minute. Crumbs everywhere! As Ms. Burkes now has to go look for a hoover (vacuum), and Andy and I get the kids to rearrange themselves into small groups of no more than 5 or 4. Once that's done, Andy starts the Youth Alpha video. 

It starts with 2 Canadians guys sharing about who they are and a little about their faith. Then they ask a question "what would you do if you only have 24 hours left to live?", after randomers on the street are interviewed and answer this question, the question gets posed to the kids watching the video. After the kids talk about what they would do if they only had 24 hours left to live, the video continues this time with the Canadians sharing about what Christianity is, without forcing anyone to agree or change beliefs, just encouraging someone to think about what they do believe and why. After a couple more minutes, another question is asked, this time a little deeper. This pattern continues for the rest of the class period. 

I rotate between the different small groups, facilitating the conversation so everyone gets a chance to answer the question without sharing my opinion (unless specifically asked, which is actually so hard for me not to do!). Just encouraging the kids to think about what they believe. 

As the bell rings telling the students it's time to go to the next class there's a hurried scramble of the tables and chairs being set back up in the room so that it's left how we found it. 

I quickly get myself to the door as the kids are leaving to hand out treats to them. Which, depending on the week is either sweets (candy) or biscuits (cookies). 

Food's an important part of Youth Alpha. If we were doing it in a normal youth group setting, we would be doing a proper meal with them every week. But as this is just a class period, we make due with just having biscuits for them. 

As soon as the last student is gone, Ms. Burke tells us a rushed "good-bye and thanks", she'll see us next week as she hurries to her next class. 

I follow Andy back through the maze of school halls to the office, totally turned around, hoping he doesn't catch on that I have no idea where I'm going. 

Kathy, the receptionist, signs us out and I step back into the outside world, buzzing! As only being with teenagers and getting to talk about Jesus can leave you, thankful that I agreed to do this all over again on Friday.

Dallas

During our week in Romania we got to go the Roma community (gypsy camp) and see the world that Zsolti and KJ are part of. (One of the Serge couples we were visiting). 

I had no idea what to expect! I see Romanian Gypsies all over Ireland. I even read a book about Gypsies in England, about a boy that left that community. They've not been very welcomed here in Ireland and even asking a Romanian about them, you can sense a tension of "don't associate me with them!". So all in all I was excited to actually see the Roma in their own community. 

The scene that greeted me when we got to the camp was honestly shocking! We are just outside the city, in the local city dump. Where the livelihood of these people is actually to take care of the city's trash. (The Roma's have been doing this for 500 years!) 

The setting for the Roma camps is absolutely stunning! We're in a sort of valley with little shacks scatted all over the hill. The specific camp that we're in is called Dallas. Just on the hill above is a rival camp. And just a little further down the hill and to the right is yet another rival camp. Some of the shacks are proper little 4-walled houses with wood roofs that missionaries from the Netherlands have helped build for them. Other homes are just 4 walls held up somehow with a tarp and tire roof. It's normal to find a family of 12 or 14 to be living in these homes.  

There is trash littered throughout the entire camp. Upon first getting here I'd seen this sad creature that I actually couldn't tell if it was a dead puppy or simply a stuffed animal. As KJ and Zsolti start taking us down the hill to see more of the community, KJ redirects us as it turns out it is a dead puppy along the way we were going to go. 

In the whole camp there is no running water. Located in various places in the camp are 3 or 4 taps that people collect their water at. In the middle of the camp are outhouses. Somehow there is a bathing system, but it's not a high priority (I'm not actually sure what it is). The chief has electricity, which for a fee, he shares with the family's that want it. 

In the middle of all this are children. Loads of them! Children covered in dirt. With matted hair that stands up on its own. At first they just peek out around the sides of their homes, then they stand more in the open, waving and smiling at us. Then as soon as they recognize KJ and Zsolti they run into KJ's arms! As introductions are slowly made and Vicki and I are taught how to say basic phrases, like "my name is... what's your name?" the children warm up to us. And the next thing I know I've become is a human jungle gym! Children just wanting to be held and swung or just twirled. Just wanting so much to be loved. Thank you Jesus that physical contact crosses all sorts of language barriers!

KJ with a couple of the Roma girls

 

The desire is not to change the culture of the Roma camp, but rather to show the rising generation there's more out there then the dump they live in. This is being done by slowly building relationships with some of the children in the community. By teaching them a skill, through workshops. Zsolti teaches 3 teenage boys craftsmanship. While KJ teaches 3 teenage girls sewing. In the midsts of teaching them a craft, the couple is discipling these teenagers, showing them Jesus by teaching them how to work with their hands. Even though there are many more in the camp then these 6 teens, the desire is to be intentional with these 6 and then they can help assist with the next kids that join the workshops, so that even as they grow in numbers they can still be intentional. Loving these kids and showing them Jesus. 

As Zsolti and KJ show us Dallas one of Zsolti's boys', Florian, joins us. Florian helps Zsolti give us a tour. Then helps Zsolti set up for his workshop. Just in meeting Florian, you can see the respect he has for Zsolti and KJ. As we meet other boys his age, I'm  able to see the self respect Florian actually has for himself, just in the way he carries him and makes eye contact with us. This boy is going to be a leader someday. As he shadows Zsolti, I'm excited to see what God is going to do with this young man!

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

As part of my Apprenticeship with Serge at some point during the 2 years I get to go on a mission trip to visit another Serge team in a  different ministry context. To see their world and meet their people. Be able to pray and encourage them. 

Cluj-Napoca Romania

This past April saw me going to Cluj Romania with my team leaders to meet the Cluj team and see their world in Romania. It as fascinating  learning about a post communistic culture. Just last year, I read about Brother Andrew smuggling Bibles into Romania and this year I actually got to go to Romania and meet church leaders that were imprisoned for their faith. As inspiring and convicting as it was to hear stories from such recent history, it was heartbreaking looking around today Cluj and to see the apathy toward Christianity in my generation. Never would you pray for persecution, but it does make you realize what's important in life. Even just to be told you can't believe in Jesus makes you want to believe in Jesus. 

Our first night there we were given a book entitled "Not By Bread Alone". It was a little devotion book made up of Bible verses mostly about food, or lack of food (as the title suggests) and quotes from famous theologians. It was written by a pastor who was actually imprisoned during the communist regime. (His son was actually the pastor at the church the Serge team is part of!) During the week, as a team of 3, we started a little tradition of reading this book with breakfast. Either with food, or instead of food. So literally starting our day with "not by bread alone"! 

For some reason food was not a high priority on this trip. Somewhere during the day we would for sure get a meal, but it was never for sure when. There was a little pastry cafe around the corner from where we were staying, where we would often get something to eat. But we discovered the hard way that everything's closed on Sunday's. But God, miraculously quieted our hunger pangs. I never really got hungry that day, (that never happens to me!). But what was also really crazy was that Vicki, one of my team leaders, has a gluten intolerance. Guess what we ate all week, oh yeah, gluten! God just protected her so she could be present and not get sick. 

So, even though I'll never understand what it was like living in Romania during the communist regime, I feel like God gave us a little example of what it means to trust Him with something as simple as your daily bread. 

Or even what it means to pray expectantly. Even for small things. I feel like I have so many stories from just one week of God showing up! So... stay tuned for more stories (and pictures!) 

Thoughts from a Sunday Afternoon

Does smoking make you a worse Christian than the person that doesn't smoke? 

Sure it's scientifically proven to not be good for you. And as a Christian your bodies are "temples of the Holy Spirit. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies". (1 Corinthians 6v19-20)

Does smoking ruin your christian testimony? Make you a hypocrite? Like I said, sure it's bad... but is it any worse than judging the person that's smoking? Or gossiping? Or not paying your taxes? Or porn? Or.... the list is long. At least with smoking it's a visible sin. Does that not actually make it better? We all have "sins" that we will fight till the day we go to glory. But that's no reason not to be doing the work of the Lord. Sure, no one would be doing the Lord's work if we were waiting till we had our act together... but sure no one would be attracted to Christ if all the people that represented Him had their act together. Because really, who wants to be friends with a goody-two-shoes?! The beautiful thing about the Gospel is that not only calls us when we're dysfunctional, but He also uses us as we are, right where we are. 

Is there not a place to witness while having a smoke? I can't help but think that people that smoke actually have an advantage over people that don't. The conversations you can have with a total stranger, just because you needed a light. Or when you're at your work place. 

But again the question must be asked... does smoking mean you can't be a Christian? 

Yes, as a christian you should be growing in your faith. I should be able to see the fruit of you faith by how you're living your life. But we're all at different stages and only God knows our hearts ("For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart" 1 Samuel 16v7). So if God is convicting you that you need to give up smoking, that is where you are on you Spiritual journey. But you can't judge your brother that isn't being convicted by God to quit. You don't know where God's got them, (maybe their mission field is the smoking room at work). You have to separate your relationship with God between your relationship with your fellow man. 

The same could be said for people that drink. Obviously, don't drink to get drunk, but if you can't drink socially, doesn't that make you a prig? (Likewise it should be noted that if drinking causes your brother to stumble, don't drink!)

Why is it so hard to believe that Jesus drank wine? Like the fermented stuff? (I checked, wine in ancient Rome was very alcoholic! It had to be fermented, because if it wasn't then it would just turn to vinegar.) "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery." Ephesians 5v18 Ironic really, it made people uncomfortable that He ate and drank with sinners and tax collectors."The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.'" and it's still making us uncomfortable today. 

Isn't it true that God cares more for your heart than for acts? "For  it is by grace you been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2v8  

Personal story. I had to really wrestle with God about this when I was 18 and I learned that my brother not only smoked but had a serious drink problem. At 18, I was your stereotypical "good girl". I went to church, did all the "right things". How was it possible that my brother could do those things? Does God love him any less? No. In myself righteousness, how was I actually any better than my brother?  Sure anyone could see his "sin"... but did that not actually make my sin all the worse? As I posed being the perfect Christian good girl, I'd forfeited the first and greatest commandment, as well as the second, "Love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.... the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself". Matthew 22v37-39

In conclusion to all this rambling, I really just want to encourage you that God can use you wherever you are in life. Don't limit God. Remember, it's His show. We just have to be willing to let Him use us, even when we think we're at our worst. Remember too, God doesn't "need" us, He wants us and He invites to be part of what He's doing. 

STRICTLY Put Your Best Foot Forward

When it comes to dancing, I've always said, "do not dip me, do not lift me and you'll never see me on stage dancing".

Well... that was until October when I saw my friend Rebecca doing a Strictly for a fundraiser..... I mean, it looked fun. The music. The  energy. But doing a dance on stage, in front of people? Yeah, not there yet. 

Strictly Come Dancing is the British form of Dancing with the Stars. Here in Ireland they do mini versions for fundraisers. So instead of getting paired with a professional dancer and it being a whole season of dancing, you're paired with a partner who's as clueless as you are to dancing and you're taught one dance. After 7 weeks of practicing and training you perform it on stage, then you are judged and voted for. (The votes are with money, all going to the charity that the fundraiser's for). 

In December Rebecca told me she was going to do another Strictly in February, did I want to do it with her? 

Well, duh! Of course I do! 

Reality though.... When was it in February? What was the time commitment to practicing? I have to raise money... how much?! How am I going to do that?? (Do I believe in the course enough to ask people to come along and support me?) 

After a month of hemming and hawing I finally decided I had nothing to loose by at least going once to a practice.

I missed the first week of training as I was flying back from Spain (the Camino). I went the following week not ready to commit to anything. But sure, what's the harm in trying it. 

There were about 30 people there to participate in the dance, with 2 instructors to teach and choreograph us, Ricki and Rachel. We went through steps to the group dance that would be done at the opening of the show, before we did our couple dances. Then they went through steps to all the dances we could be doing. Almost useless information for us as only one couple would be doing any one of those dances, but really it was so the instructors could better know which dances to give us and who to partner us with. 

Then they got us in semi circle and told us they were going to teach us some lifts. But they needed 2 volunteers. After an awkward second or 2 the guy next to me went into the middle and said he'd do it. As  firmly as I've always said "my feet stay on the ground", secretly I did want to learn how to do a lift. So looking around at the potential men... I decided my best option was the guy already in the middle. So I walked forward to the center saying I wanted to learn too. After we did it a couple of times, a couple more couples came up to try. Then Ricki and Rachel said they had another one for us to learn and needed 2 more volunteers. This time the guy next to me nudged me and was like, we got this! And indeed we did! 

Rachel and Ricki then took us back to our group dance, telling us that we were going to be doing some of those lifts in the dance. I was paired with my "lift buddy", Stephen. We were positioned front and center of the group. (Not only have I never done lifts, but never have I ever been in front and center of anything!) 

Let's just say, by the time I got home that night I was buzzing. 

The following week, I received a text announcing who my partner was and what dance I'd be doing for the couple dance. As there was a shortage of men, I'd thought I would be put in group dance with just women. So, when I got the text saying I was doing Bollywood with Lee, I was shocked! Ironically Lee was the one person I'd said, "anyone but him!" I'd never even heard of Bollywood, so after Youtube-ing it I learned that it's basically the Indian version of Latin dancing. Fantastic! With my track record of being able to Salsa, this was going to be a breeze... not. 

So naturally I called my mom, almost in tears. I'd been hoping for a more traditional dance... and why did I have to be partnered with that guy? (And why was I being so mean to the guy?) 

Basically, my mother told to suck it up. Do the dance. When else am I going to learn to Bollywood? 

So I did just that. 

6 weeks later we won 3rd place for our dance!! 

Standing on stage after they announced the winners, holding our prizes the couple that won 2nd place, Serena and Bradley (dancing the Tango), along with Lee and I, had a moment. The 4 of us had bonded quite a lot through the training and meeting up during the week to practice our routine. Bradley, 17, a sweet heart of a guy was bubbling when he told me he'd never before one a trophy. I was literally bouncing when I told him neither had I. (No, those "everyone's a winner" medals don't count!) 

Lee and I, in costume 

My friend Sara from the Y 

Friends from Grace, (Lt to Rt)
Renitha, Daniel, Rosalie and Drew